It’s freezing and windy out here! Sorry if you can’t see me too well—I’m walking against the sun, so I’m kinda in shadow. Anyways, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, especially after posting that video about not having close friends. First off, big thanks to everyone who’s been there for me, whether in the comments or real life. You guys rock.
But you know, I’ve come to realize that maybe part of the reason I don’t have close buds is because I haven’t been the best at being a friend myself. It’s like, I’ve got plenty of acquaintances, but when it comes to deeper connections, I’ve fallen short. My counselor even pointed it out ages ago—I’m great at surface-level stuff, but struggle to dive deeper.
I’ve had moments in the past where I’ve had good friendships, especially back in college. Those were some golden years, hanging out with roommates, studying together, and just doing life. But since then, it’s been a bit of a drought in the friendship department.
I guess I’ve always wondered if there’s something about me that pushes people away. Am I just not approachable? Sometimes I feel like I’m putting on a front, especially online or when I’m in front of a camera like now. It’s easy to present a certain image, but that might not always be the real me.
And you know what? It’s okay to be introverted. I definitely need my alone time to recharge. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have close friendships. It’s just about finding that balance, you know?
I’ve realized that if I want those deep connections, I’ve gotta put in the effort. It’s not just about waiting for others to reach out—it’s about me reaching out too. And yeah, it might take time and energy, but it’s worth it.
At the end of the day, I’ve gotta remember that there’s always hope. Even when I feel lonely, there are people who care about me. And yeah, relationships can be messy, but they’re also one of the best parts of life.
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